Have you ever hit that point in your life when it seems that you don't just spin your wheels but in doing so you slide backwards? This year has officially taken over last year as the worst I have ever experienced financially. Let me qualify that. In truth, this year could end up being one of, if not the, best I have ever experienced. So far that is not the case. It really is miserable and I don't like to say it as if I mean it. There are some things that have happened which are very positive.
On the positive side of things is the fact that three huge loans will be paid out this year. I have created another loan or two in the process but overall costs are going to be way WAY down soon. Even more positive is that this year everyone is healthy. Our family has always been healthy, or at least above average but I am referring to last year's struggles for my wife as she brought child #7 into the family. Both my wife and youngest edition are doing very well. Thanks by the way to all those who were there for us with prayers, babysitting, and food. One more very important positive thing this year has brought is good folks to the forefront of my life. Back in November we were working on property belonging to friends who have been very strong and supportive of my business with patience and understanding even as events seemed to take a big turn for the worse. I started this year on another job which started out great but when the weather had other plans it turned an unusually difficult terrain into one nearly impossible to work in. Again, I was working on property belonging to good people, friends who have been very kind while my business has been hit with another onslaught of breakdowns and super expensive misfortunes.
All that is good but with only half the year over and well over $30,000 in repairs and maintenance in a three man operation it has brought my life as I have known it to a breaking point. I absolutely cannot take 6 more months of this. I am not sure what to do other than keep on grinding away until I have a definitive answer. Assuming that the economy does not plummet much more, and the political scene is somewhat stable, I am holding on to the idea I can sell my operation for cheap, pay off folks I owe and spring board into something, anything else, if it comes to it.
I have loved my job, my business, and my life but things across the globe are changing at such a pace that us folks on the fringes of acceptance by popular culture have a huge knife to our throats. Sustainability as a small operator has been compromised by the ferocious big corporations squeezing the life out of all the fruitful small companies to intoxicate their disconnected Wall Street sycophants.
I hope for hope, love for love, and only have faith enough for acceptance of the inevitable. This is not what I wanted or what I thought I needed, but what do I know?....Nothing. Right now all I can think is I need to get through tomorrow or hopefully the rest of this week. Everything is on thin ice and if this business is to succeed it will be only because that is what The Father sees fit to do.
