Irreplaceable

As I have said I will think of all words if I live long enough to say how I feel about my father's time with us. Irreplaceable is just one that might take the rest of the night to explain how it applies to one man but if there was a short list this would be near the top of such words. I will give a few examples of why this has to be recognized.

My father retired from the United States Marine Corps mid 1978. Upon his decision to retire the USMC made offers for my father to stay on board. Among the offers was a promotion to Lieutenant Colonel. The down side of that was yet another move of the family to far away place and it would also not be a permanent home. In the meantime the USMC was busy trying to find a man or anyone to take my father's place. The USMC used it's best abilities to find someone to include utilizing the cutting edge computer systems at MCTSSA in Camp Pendleton. The only name that ever came back after entering my dad's qualifications was his very own. As far as I know the Marines never really replaced him. I think that says quite a bit. Even the United States Marine Corps could not replace Major Robert M. Walker.

When my dad passed away so unexpectedly it became evident that another vacuum formed over the people he worked with in defense contracting. Administrators from various contractors had immediately expressed concern that there would be no one to take up where he left off. My father is lauded for his brilliance and the uncanny ability to look through complexities to find simple answers. His 23 years in the USMC and his 33 years specializing in the absolute leading edge of technologies to include "rocket science" put him in a very unique position. Even though his value was seemingly so extreme he never beat his chest to the contractors or the government expecting something more. I don't think he underestimated himself. I just think he was easily satisfied with what he was awarded. In the last month I have heard again that he will not likely be replaced and that the best that can be done is several people will have to step into his role to get the job done.

At home what else can be said. To write this part off as Dad being irreplaceable is unacceptable. There are many more words to cover as it applies to his legacy out here. There is definitely a hole in the family and in our hearts. It is so unreal that he is gone and never another word will be spoken to him nor any from him. How sweet a sound it will be to hear him again. His heart was full and I suppose will always be. I am just one man that was raised in his home and there are more people who could share so much more than I could. I hope the family does do the one thing Dad seemed to care about most and that is to grow closer together.

I promise I will do my best.

Ridding the Fog

To begin I have to note that November 25th is the wedding anniversary of my parents. Unfortunately my father will not be here to celebrate their 45th year together. My guts have stayed in a high pitched angst every day since his passing and I cannot as yet think of anything to do which does not remind of Dad somehow.

My frequent travels on the roads to places near and far were all somehow related to my father. Nothing looks or feels the same anymore Now when I go out the sky is a different color. The air smells different and everything is heavy. I think Our Creator is trying to talk to me and I want to hear Him more than ever.

Maybe this is the final plane we step up onto in our flesh where we separate ourselves from the rest of the world. This may be where one truly seeks and clearly finds. I feel something huge under my feet but letting go 100% and allowing The Lord to work in my life is a battle for which my Dad helped me prepare in more ways than even he knew. I still feel very unsure about it.

When you pray tonight please pray for my mother. This passing anniversary is painful for her as will be the next anniversary and every anniversary. Every day she will face without the one that had spent 45 years becoming the man of her dreams. Now that the beautiful dream is over if she could just take each step with peace and understanding.

I love you Mom!

No Words All

My father, Robert M. Walker, passed away on Friday November 4th, 2011. He was on his way to work and was riding his 2007 Harley Davidson. It was about 5:45am when a man heading north veered into oncoming traffic and managed to strike my father. It was a senseless act that took my father's life.

No words can really say what I want to say but I am sure that by the time I am done I will have said all words. I want to leave it here for now though I will be posting soon about the life of a man that will be so missed and has, more than once, been proven to be irreplaceable. I will post what should be multiple posts in the near future.