Irreplaceable

As I have said I will think of all words if I live long enough to say how I feel about my father's time with us. Irreplaceable is just one that might take the rest of the night to explain how it applies to one man but if there was a short list this would be near the top of such words. I will give a few examples of why this has to be recognized.

My father retired from the United States Marine Corps mid 1978. Upon his decision to retire the USMC made offers for my father to stay on board. Among the offers was a promotion to Lieutenant Colonel. The down side of that was yet another move of the family to far away place and it would also not be a permanent home. In the meantime the USMC was busy trying to find a man or anyone to take my father's place. The USMC used it's best abilities to find someone to include utilizing the cutting edge computer systems at MCTSSA in Camp Pendleton. The only name that ever came back after entering my dad's qualifications was his very own. As far as I know the Marines never really replaced him. I think that says quite a bit. Even the United States Marine Corps could not replace Major Robert M. Walker.

When my dad passed away so unexpectedly it became evident that another vacuum formed over the people he worked with in defense contracting. Administrators from various contractors had immediately expressed concern that there would be no one to take up where he left off. My father is lauded for his brilliance and the uncanny ability to look through complexities to find simple answers. His 23 years in the USMC and his 33 years specializing in the absolute leading edge of technologies to include "rocket science" put him in a very unique position. Even though his value was seemingly so extreme he never beat his chest to the contractors or the government expecting something more. I don't think he underestimated himself. I just think he was easily satisfied with what he was awarded. In the last month I have heard again that he will not likely be replaced and that the best that can be done is several people will have to step into his role to get the job done.

At home what else can be said. To write this part off as Dad being irreplaceable is unacceptable. There are many more words to cover as it applies to his legacy out here. There is definitely a hole in the family and in our hearts. It is so unreal that he is gone and never another word will be spoken to him nor any from him. How sweet a sound it will be to hear him again. His heart was full and I suppose will always be. I am just one man that was raised in his home and there are more people who could share so much more than I could. I hope the family does do the one thing Dad seemed to care about most and that is to grow closer together.

I promise I will do my best.

Ridding the Fog

To begin I have to note that November 25th is the wedding anniversary of my parents. Unfortunately my father will not be here to celebrate their 45th year together. My guts have stayed in a high pitched angst every day since his passing and I cannot as yet think of anything to do which does not remind of Dad somehow.

My frequent travels on the roads to places near and far were all somehow related to my father. Nothing looks or feels the same anymore Now when I go out the sky is a different color. The air smells different and everything is heavy. I think Our Creator is trying to talk to me and I want to hear Him more than ever.

Maybe this is the final plane we step up onto in our flesh where we separate ourselves from the rest of the world. This may be where one truly seeks and clearly finds. I feel something huge under my feet but letting go 100% and allowing The Lord to work in my life is a battle for which my Dad helped me prepare in more ways than even he knew. I still feel very unsure about it.

When you pray tonight please pray for my mother. This passing anniversary is painful for her as will be the next anniversary and every anniversary. Every day she will face without the one that had spent 45 years becoming the man of her dreams. Now that the beautiful dream is over if she could just take each step with peace and understanding.

I love you Mom!

No Words All

My father, Robert M. Walker, passed away on Friday November 4th, 2011. He was on his way to work and was riding his 2007 Harley Davidson. It was about 5:45am when a man heading north veered into oncoming traffic and managed to strike my father. It was a senseless act that took my father's life.

No words can really say what I want to say but I am sure that by the time I am done I will have said all words. I want to leave it here for now though I will be posting soon about the life of a man that will be so missed and has, more than once, been proven to be irreplaceable. I will post what should be multiple posts in the near future.

Beat and the Heat

Today is one hot example of a day to follow, but guess what, it is supposed to get more hot as the next few days pass. I am going to have to install a grease catch on my ankles to catch all the grease being cooked out of me every day. I could make diesel out of it. Bleh..... The best part is the humidity. You'd think 100 degree temps would cook a piece of bread so it become dry and brittle but that is not how it is here. Anything left open with any sort of crispy food inside turns into a sort of dehumidifier. Everything turns soggy and mushy just like you will if you sit outside for a while. If you do anything more than sitting you will become drenched in your own sweat. There are pros and cons to living in the southern cooker just like everywhere else. I'll keep calling this area home.

Speaking of home I sure love coming home to the wife and kids. You could say there are pros and cons to that too but it's so lopsided I not sure there are cons when the considerations are completed.

It was always a dream for me to become someone in music and especially to learn the piano. I learned at an early age that different folks have to learn differently. My style would be to learn music I wanted to learn and master a song at a time. I was never afforded that style from any musicians. As I have become "older" I have revisited my desire to learn music and have been slowly picking out Moonlight Sonata but progress is slow and the piano needs a couple hundred dollars worth of work. I got this 12yr old girl that is really gaining ground on the piano. She is running ahead of me learning Beethoven and is actually having to show me how to play it! How do ya like that?? She'll be a good teacher. My 14yr old is gaining ground on the guitar too. He is learning guitar the way I should have learned. He takes one song at a time and learns it. Now he has a bit of a play list and is learning cord progression and classic ques from his own perspective not that of a boxed in teacher. It's pretty awesome from where I stand.

In the meantime I am learning more tricks on the drums. I have played for years and had opportunities to follow my old friends to the big time. God has other plans though and I'll stick with that. My latest little learning episode happened as a result of watching this kid that plays and amazing drum solo on youtube. The one handed drum roll has evaded my scope for years. I had sort of chalked it up to not even being in the same realm of talent as these other "cats". I had even forgotten about it. This all due to my old friend, who tours with Shania Twain and many other greats, telling me he could not do that either. I suppose he might be able to now but I don't know him anymore. In the meantime this kid reminded me of the cool chops and I began looking around for how to guides. This age of the internet produced the good and in ten or so minutes I was doing the very one handed drum roll I never thought I could!

Here I sit in the air conditioning appreciating the fact I am stuffed inside where I might find something to do like learn I can climb this mountain. My family along the way giving me the lift I need to finally make my dreams come true.

Holiday Crew

Well things are certainly better than they have been in a while. Work is still ticking along with a few interruptions but that is to be expected. I have just replaced the cradle pins on the f68 which was long overdue. The Independence Day holiday is coming through right now so mills are doing various shutdowns and that is a slight hold up but all in all it's still good.

Misty and I finally got the chance to take the kids somewhere after nearly three years of near nothingness. We took them to Santa Claus, Indiana where there is arguably the greatest theme park in the world. Holiday World/Spalshin' Safari has the greatest wooden roller coasters on earth and many other great attractions. The most notable parts are the kid areas and rides scattered around the park, free refreshments all day, patronage that is levels above those who attend any other park I have been to, and last but not least the overall cost of taking such a huge family on vacation. The Hotel stay was MORE than general admission for two days! It is also not far from home relatively speaking. The water park side is real big, full of slides and rides and they have this really cool water coaster. If you ever want to ride that thing ya have to be willing to wait in line because, even with the smaller crowds, everyone wants to ride that coaster again and again.

I recommend anyone with a family to check that place out. We went three years ago and had to come back. We plan on going again someday too. This time I got Misty a shirt with "Holiday Crew 2011" at the top with all our names across the shirt and of course at the bottom the last name just says "And...?" and you know why.

Back in Biz

I have spent the last couple of years stressing out over the economy and the incredible government/corporate evil that strangles the life out of the hardest working segments of our society. They truly are biting the hands that feed them. I do have plenty to be thankful for but you must admit it is hard to notice all the things that go right when you can feel the knife in your back from the giants with no heart or concious.

With that said I have found myself on one of the best jobs I have ever done and I can feel the heaviness lifting off my shoulders a little bit at a time. I work and finally it pays. If this keeps going there will be a short time between where I am and where I should have been several years ago.

Emergence See?

Once again it's been too long since I have posted. I just haven't been motivated at all. Everything, aside from my awesome family and friends, has been in the dumps. No money, no sleep, hurry up and wait....for nothing. Can it get worse? Yeah it can! I am definitely satisfied with just how bad it can get already. I don't need to see any more of this! Things are starting to turn a little though. It's this time of year when the weather turns bad that thing loosen up. What happens is the mills get full when everyone is able to work real good. If you are unfortunate enough, like myself,you miss out on the best time to produce. We had breakdowns after breakdowns. Most of those were due simply to careless employees but in the end I have to take the blame for letting them take one step on my job. We also had to deal with many problems at the hands of worthless mechanics, tires, and tire dealers. So, after not making a showing while quotas were open, we are among the first to be cut off when the quotas start up again.

Towards the end of the worst run of my life I have run up on some very good folks. The land owners have been great for the last few jobs. They have all witnessed what they probably could not have believed had they just been told about it. Ignorant folks who have always had it relatively easy, have never run a small business, or have sold their souls to be a success love to chime in and let me know how I am going about things wrong. Oh well! If they are in the mood to listen as much as they offer advice they end up quitting just like they would do if they actually dealt with it. LOL However, I said before this could be the worst year ever but could end up being the best. Even though it's late in the year it could still pull out on top. There is time to end the year on a high note but this week is pivotal. Either way I have to offer thanks to God, family, friends, and those really good folks I have worked for over the last year. I'll be back on here soon.